In Loving
Memory of Ethel Louise Hilderman
Ethel was born in Regina in 1921 and moved out to Vancouver as a
youngster in 1929 with her parents, two brothers, and a sister. The
parents bought a house on West 47th Avenue near Maple
Street. During her teens she spent the summers with her family in
the Cariboo at their Placer Mine. She helped in the kitchen so the
crew could be fed. After graduation, she attended Normal School and
became an Elementary School teacher. She taught in a one-room
school Grades 1 to 8 in the Fraser Valley. After two years of
teaching in a rural setting, she was hired to teach in Vancouver,
mostly at Lord Tennyson School. She loved teaching Grade One—the
youngsters in the primary grades were so keen and eager. Ethel’s
Dad said Fred took her out of Grade 1.
Now we hear another
part of the story: Fred’s part.
Fred grew up in Winnipeg
and moved to the coast in 1948. He got a job in construction and
moved into a boarding house in New Westminster. After a month of
really bad meals in this boarding house, he moved to a rooming
house where he could do his own cooking. But, if the boarding
house operator had been a good cook, Fred might not have met
Crawford. Crawford lived across the hall from him and later
married Emma, Fred’s sister. Later on that year, their jobs ended
in New Westminster, and Crawford and Fred commuted daily to
Vancouver. Family friends of Crawford who lived in the Dunbar area
had a basement suite and they let these two bachelors move in.
Here’s where the two
paths intersect….
Fred and Ethel met in an alley (Kerrisdale bowling alley). A
number of young people from Kerrisdale Baptist Church bowled in a
league, Crawford among them. Crawford invited Fred to join and
they met. For many months, Fred adored Ethel from a distance, only
being bold enough to ask her about her score every week. Fred was
quite abashed before young women and especially a beautiful woman
like Ethel. Soon, Crawford joined the choir and again asked if
Fred would like to join as well. Lo and behold, there was Ethel.
Ethel encouraged Fred to give it a try, much to the chagrin of the
choir leader. After a spell of time, Fred decided he had better
quit before the congregation faded away.
When Fred first met Ethel, he was working towards entry
qualification to Teacher Training. Ethel was Fred’s greatest
encourager. Fred and Ethel were married, and Fred’s first teaching
job was in the Cariboo in Quesnel. So back to the Cariboo she
went. During their one year stay there, Ethel was able teach for
six months while one of the elementary teachers was on sick leave.
The living accommodation they had was a two-room shack behind a
motel. They had no running water and had to carry it in from an
outside tap. They used the bathroom facilities at the landlord’s
motel. Ethel joined the choir at the local United Church.
After their daughter Mary Lou and their son Gordon were born, Ethel
became a caregiver and encourager of another sort. When the
youngsters were away in school, she volunteered as a caregiver with
a program at Ryerson United Church for disabled children called
“Care Free.” When her aging parents needed help, she would be
there. Ethel was a founding member of LARA, a women’s group
devoted to raising funds for the various programs in the community
for the mentally disabled.
Ethel loved to sing; in high school and Normal School she was a
member of a Glee Club. She sang in the Trinity Baptist (formerly
Kerrisdale Baptist) for 40 years and also the ”Grace Thompson
Singers.” The Cariboo became again an important element in Ethel’s
life. For the last thirty-seven years, Fred and Ethel have spent
most of their summers in the Cariboo at their cabin on Meadow
Lake.
Late this spring, Ethel was diagnosed with cancer. She faced this
squarely and with boldness. When she told me, she said, “I have
had a good life, I am ready to go home.” Then she folded her arms
as if God was taking her that very moment. And indeed, I think
that she expected God to do just that. She often joked about the
nickname given to her in her college years: “Franky.” She was
given this name because she was always so frank and spoke her
mind. You always knew where you stood with Ethel, and even in this
valley of the shadow of death, Ethel was frank and
straightforward. She wasn’t afraid; she was already comforted and
secure in her identity as a child of God. Her faith and her
knowledge of the presence of God and where she was going after she
died was undeniable. Many said that they went to visit her, hoping
to encourage her but went away built up and comforted themselves.
Ethel had come in her life to her Creator, and she had entrusted her
life to Jesus, the author and perfecter of her faith. She had
walked with him through hard times and good times. She had used
her talents and gifts for God and she had loved us, her family and
her friends and the people of God. And she has left behind an
inheritance, a gift. She has taught me, she has taught us how to
die with Jesus. She has shown us that the peace that passes
understanding is a reality, it is sure. I pray that we will follow
in her footsteps, living for Christ and dying unafraid in His
presence, going home… Goodness and love have followed her all the
days of her life, and she is and will dwell in the house of the
Lord forever.
By Joy Gregory
